You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
