We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize