Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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