my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
