It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
they need to just BURY HIM!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
