Nicole vs. Life
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
