just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i think my cat just said my name.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
