worst night to have a conscience
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
