New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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