He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
