his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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