their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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