i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
