I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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