I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
