My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
