You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
