Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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