Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
