watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
