11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
