I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
