guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
