life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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