either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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