You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
