i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
