god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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