what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
