His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
