I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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