all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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