Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
