West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
