I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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