I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
