My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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