That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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