wakey wakey hands off snakey
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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