So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
