Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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