Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I love you. Go after that dick
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
