When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
