If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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