Me. At least after what I've been through.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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