did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
