i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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