Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry FreudianSlut hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.

Fav 11 4209 1612
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt

Fav 25 12701 1830
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!

Fav 6 3689 974
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(410): View more from Maryland

There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?

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(845): View more from New York

There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets

Fav 6 865 594
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

Fav 2 1348 610
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(+34): View more from Spain

30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.

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(510): View more from California

I just texted my mom from a strip club.

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