Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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