So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
