How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
