Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
