that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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