bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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