hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize