put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
