The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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