I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
