so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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