I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
